Gift Buying for Geeks

Is the geek in your life about to have a birthday? Are you still guilty for getting them that lame American Eagle sweater for Christmas, and don’t want to see that disappointed look in their eye again?

Here’s the answer. An all-inclusive Gift Buying Geek Guide. If you’re ever in need for a geeky gift–look here for ideas and you’ll be sure to make the geek in your life very, very happy.

A Batmobile

Tumblers aren’t just social networks

Now, ideally, you’ll give the real deal. Hopefully you’re friends with a brilliant engineer and have the funds to create the powerful ride complete with Cable Cutter Blade, Bat Ray Projector, Detect-a-scope, Bat Eye Switch, Automatic Tire Inflation Device, Remote Batcomputer, Emergency Bat Turn Lever, Anti-Fire Activator, Bat Smoke, Bat Photoscope, and many other Bat gadgets. Nothing would bring a bigger smile to a geek’s face than to see the batmobile with a huge gaudy red bow on its hood, sitting in the middle of their driveway. That is, if it can fit in their driveway.

However, if engineer friends or huge funds are eluding you, try for a smaller batmobile. Remote-control batmobile, a LEGO batmobile, heck even a PEZ dispenser batmobile is cool. Seriously. Batmobiles. You can’t go wrong with ‘em.

A Geeky Hat or T-Shirt

Beanie with elf ears? Cool. Indiana Jones hat? Even cooler. Storm Trooper helmet? Coolest! The great thing bout giving a hat to a geek is that on the off chance *more like definitive* chance that they played Skyrim instead of taking a shower then a hat will cover up their greasy hair. So . . . yeah, a repertoire of awesome hats is helpful to a geek.

And you know how every sports nut likes to have underwear, socks, t-shirts, hoodies, shorts, and ties with the logo of their favorite sport Kingdom (they’re called Kingdoms, aren’t they?) Well, geeks like to do that, too. Not only will having a t-shirt of The Legend of Zelda’s Hylian Shield remind you of all the times you’ve saved Hyrule, but it will also attract other Hyrule heroes to you when they see your shirt. Besides, what else would best display their love for Monte Python than to have “Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries,” t-shirt to display! So t-shirts are excellent both for the proclaiming adoration and attracting geeky conversations with strangers.

Recommended: Snorgtees.com & threadless.com for ultra geeky shirts.

Something Useful For The Zombie Apocalypse

Get them a book of edible forest plants. Or a box of freeze dried food. Or a big jug of gas. Or a rope. Or a professional grade backpack. Or a tent. Or a pick axe.  Or a crowbar. Or a pitchfork. Or anything that would be helpful in the off chance *more like definitive* chance that there will be a zombie apocalypse.

In Nebraska, we take zombie apocalypse preparation seriously

I mean, your geeky friends may not ever climb a mountain but they sure like knowing that they have a backpack to use if they ever needed to climb one. And you’d be surprised at how often they’d planned elaborate escape routes from their residence just in case a zombie horde was approaching. Believe me, they’ll sleep better at night knowing that they have a rope and a pitchfork under their bed.

Electric Cord Organizers

For geeks, seeing someone with organized electrical cords is like seeing the mother who scrapbooks her pictures every month (instead of when the kids are grown and out of the house, as God intended).

Anything that organizes electric cords and cables is a useful thing of beauty. I swear, if I see the back of a television with streams of cords flowing in perfect order I’ll Ooo and Ahh and grow green with envious admiration as if they had smithed their own Elindil.

Food. And Drinks.

If you don’t remember anything else from this list, please remember this: Feed the Geek. When there’s a twelve hour Dungeons and Dragons marathon going on, no one has time to make meatballs. In fact, when you’re trying to beat the last boss in a video game, you don’t even have time to order pizza.

Geeks prefer bite sized food, so then only one hand is needed. Geeks prefer high protein munchies, like beef jerky or butterfingers … to keep up their strength. Geeks prefer highly caffeinated beverages, so that their strength can be used to play longer.

Remember that Taiwanese man who died after binging on internet video games for three days straight? He obviously didn’t have good friends that would bring him meatballs and pizza.

So gift your geeky friends with food. A lot of it. And regularly. It could save lives.

What gift do YOU think geeks would like? Speaking objectively, of course.